(Photos of me taken by Plan-B, who I met many years ago at the Sherman Oaks Munch. These are taken in 2018 at Threshold Society, right when I moved to Los Angeles. )
When I moved to Los Angeles years ago, I made it a priority to explore the local ENM and BDSM scenes. My journey began with an Uber ride from the City of Orange to the Sherman Oaks Munch at Sportsmen’s Lodge, a major gathering place for BDSM enthusiasts at the time. A munch, for those unfamiliar, is simply a social meetup at a bar or restaurant for people who share an interest. While Sherman Oaks Munch was once one of the few gatherings, today, LA hosts many, each with its own character. After a decade of participating in these spaces, I want to highlight some of my favorite LA gatherings and organizations.
Full transparency, included in this list is the one I’ve been hosting for the past 5 years. You can see which events I’m hosting on my event page.
Why Go To a Munch?
You may be inclined to jump right into the scene, but my suggestion is that munches are the best place to begin your sex positivity journey. In Los Angeles, there are several dedicated spaces for BDSM that we would typically describe as “dungeons.” Attending a dungeon event without prior connections or knowledge of the local scene can increase your risk of encountering unsafe situations. It is easier for someone with ill intentions to target newcomers who may not yet understand community norms or recognize trusted members. No scene is completely free of bad actors. It’s important to remain realistic and cautious, as harmful behavior can occur, sometimes even involving people close to event organizers. I wrote a whole post about the places and spaces to avoid in LA, and I still stand by what I said. To safeguard yourself when starting out, begin with small talk in lower-risk social settings like a BDSM munch. Get to know the community, ask about reputations, and avoid isolating yourself with unfamiliar attendees. This helps you gain safer access to the community outside of a dungeon context.
Attending The Sherman Oaks Munch helped me build a strong network in the scene. Through these connections, I’m able to get insights about other participants to ensure safety when meeting new people.
Recently, while reflecting on my BDSM journey online, I received a thoughtful message from a submissive I’d met years ago at a munch. Our discussion emphasized how valuable these community connections can be for self-discovery and support. Many of my friendships have grown outside of the BDSM context thanks to these events. Munches have helped me find a vibrant, inclusive circle of friends and colleagues in LA.
As a Los Angeles munch host for five years, I’ve consistently seen how munches attract a diverse, open-minded crowd. Many attendees feel uplifted after meeting others who share their interests, even if they’re just seeking friends. My event is particularly welcoming to those looking to meet more queer and inclusive folks in LA.
Groups to follow:
SPLA
Sex Positive Los Angeles is one of the first groups I joined in LA. They offer a variety of events, from community potlucks to themed parties organized by selected members. Their programming ranges from casual to adventurous, depending on membership. SPLA remains active and relevant; information is available on their website.
FWB Clubhouse
FWB Clubhouse is a queer-owned group known for diverse and inclusive events, with special attention to POC and Trans communities. They prioritize community building, mutual aid, and sexual education. FWB Clubhouse hosts a variety of parties and supports other organizers; more info is available on Instagram.
SAKE
SoCal Asian Kink Events is an Asian-centered but open BDSM group in LA. They provide a space where Asian kinksters are included and respected in a scene that often stereotypes them. Friends praise their events, and details are on their Instagram.
SAFEWORD
SafewordLA is a women-led, inclusive art collective that offers BDSM experiences in unexpected venues such as nightclubs and art galleries. They aim to make a positive impact beyond club scenes and focus on community contributions. SafewordLA helps introduce newcomers to BDSM responsibly. See more information on their linktree.
Devil Mask Society
Devil Mask Society (DMS) is a queer-owned studio in DTLA specializing in rope education. They offer both intensive rope classes and casual rope socials in a yoga-studio setting. DMS is welcoming to trans participants and recognized for high-quality rope instruction. My partner, Nathan, went through one of their cells, and I’d heavily suggest it to those who are serious about learning how to do rope. You can find more information on their website.
LA Kinky Weirdos
LA Kinky Weirdos is a community I founded during the pandemic to create an intentionally inclusive BDSM gathering. Hosting monthly munches in Silver Lake, we focus on diversity and welcoming trans and gender-diverse people. Over five years, we’ve fostered a space for all identities in LA’s scene, and I’m very proud of what we’ve done.
With support from 910 WeHo, we raised $11,000 for The Los Angeles Gay and Lesbian Center at previous events. Now, we focus on hosting our monthly munch, but we may revisit parties soon.
The Best Munches/Socials
ENM
Poly Cocktails Los Angeles
Poly Cocktails Los Angeles (PCLA) was among my first polyamory events and regularly meets on the second Wednesday of the month on the upper level of The State Social House in West Hollywood. The friendly hosts and loyal attendees make it an excellent space for meeting others at different ENM stages. I even met Alexander there six years ago, and I’m very thankful for the event.
Plura’s ENM Social
Plura’s ENM Social at Untamed Spirits, a woman-owned sports bar, is another great option and tends to attract a larger crowd than PCLA. There’s significant overlap between the people who attend this event and those who attend my event. The ENM social happens on the last Monday of every month.
BDSM
LA Kinky Weirdos Munch
The LA Kinky Weirdos Munch is the munch that I host every second Thursday at Untamed Spirits. It’s one of the more diverse BDSM oriented socials in the city, and I’d say we have an over-representation of transgender folks, sapphics, and people of color. I chose the name because I wanted to cultivate a space where people who identified as weirdos would, perhaps, feel less weird. My event is often attended by other organizers, and it’s a great event for people new to the BDSM scene or simply looking for more queer friends. Everyone is welcome, and the venue is outdoors, reflecting our continued commitment to COVID-conscious practices.
LA Sapphic Social
The LA Sapphic Social also takes place at Untamed Spirits and is a lovely gathering for Sapphics, hosted by a dear colleague of mine. I was so happy when she told me she was going to organize something specifically for sapphics, as many of the attendees at my events have complained about a lack of events explicitly for them. While this is a BDSM centered social, like mine, it’s welcoming to vanillas. The event happens on the second Wednesday of each month.
Los Angeles Black Munch
The Los Angeles Black Munch is a really great munch exclusively for black kinksters. It takes place in Culver City on the second Tuesday of each month. It’s one of the only black-centered munches within the LA county area, and I think if you’re black, it’s a great place to connect with the Black BDSM scene of LA. It’s an event I wish I had made it to more frequently. You can find information about the munch via Fetlife.
Rosy Peaches Munch
The Rosy Peaches Munch is a spanko-dedicated munch that happens at the Auld Fella in Culver City every last Wednesday. From what I’ve seen of the community, it’s a great place to meet a wide range of people who are specifically interested in spanking and community. I’ve heard many people speak fondly of their events.
WeHo Munch
The WeHo Munch holds a special place in my heart because it’s a good intersection of some of my favorite people in the scene. The WeHo Munch is where I see all the people on the Westside who often don’t make it over to my area on the Eastside. It happens at the Mic’s Bar in West Hollywood every second Tuesday. Look for the person in the sequin robe, and you’ll know you’re at the right place.
Meetup Cheat Sheet
ENM Munches
Poly Cocktails Los Angeles – Every second Wednesday @ State Social House in West Hollywood
Plura’s ENM Social – Every last Monday @ Untamed Spirits in Silverlake
BDSM
LA Kinky Weirdos Munch – Every second Thursday @ Untamed Spirits in Silverlake
LA Sapphic Social – Every second Wednesday @ Untamed Spirits in Silverlake
Los Angeles Black Munch – Every second Tuesday @ Location TBA in Culver City
Rosy Peaches Munch – Every Last Wednesday @ Auld Fella in Culer City
We Ho Munch – Every second Tuesday @ Mic’s Bar in West Hollywood
This is my list as of Friday, June 5th 2026. If I make any updates to this post, I will indicate them. That said, I hope this list is helpful to you on your journey into sex positivity within the city.